Relationships & Connection
Healthy, loving relationships aren’t so much about finding the right person as much as BEING the right person.How can we ever expect to show up as the best versions of ourselves if we don’t actually know ourselves? Furthermore, how can we give love to another if we don’t first love ourselves? Building lasting relationships requires us to connect with the deepest parts of who we are. The journey to fulfilling and satisfying relationships begins within. No more outsourcing happiness, love, worth or security. I will teach you how to generate the above yourself so that you can approach all relationships as more of a grounded and balanced individual.
Attachment Styles and why they’re important
In early childhood, we develop attachment styles based on the type of care we received from those who raised us and the bond that was formed. Typically, those bonds either form a secure attachment style or a dysregulated style of attachment. The attachment style that’s formed then helps to create the subconscious programming responsible for your personality aka personal reality, how you form and behave in relationships and how you show up in the world. In my opinion, understanding your attachment style is an integral part of understanding yourself and creating healthy relationships.
My Integrated Attachment Theory course aims to…
- educate you on your specific attachment style
- build self awareness and emotional intelligence, (you can’t fix what you aren’t aware of)
- heal unhealthy emotional patterns (codependency/ people pleasing, avoiding conflict)
- reprogram limiting beliefs
- connect you with your needs and most importantly, how to meet them
- implement healthy boundary setting
- implement Somatic Processing and Nervous system regulation (aka processing emotional triggers and releasing resentment)
- implement the 8 major components of Self Love
SCHEDULE A FREE CONSULT
Types of Attachment Styles
Anxious Preoccupied
Fear of rejection and feeling unworthy are common worries in your relationships. A constant need for validation and reassurance often leads to self sabotage because you prioritize proximity over quality in relationships, regularly putting others needs before your own. Meaning, the house could be burning down around you, but as long as you are together, everything is ok…or so you tell yourself. Likely due to a subconscious fear of abandonment, you tend to feel incredibly anxious and afraid if you sense someone pulling away.
Fearful Avoidant
Relationships can feel chaotic to these hypervigilant overthinkers. FA’s often oscillate between people pleasing and wanting to stand up for themselves. Depending on the relationship, they will likely put their need for approval over their preferred outcome. FA’s generally lack boundaries and struggle with shame and guilt when considering implementing healthy boundaries. At all times they will try to manage other’s feelings about conflict before their own. Helloooo control issues!! Full disclosure, your handy, dandy relationship coach is a former FA.
If any of the above resonates with you, fill out my contact form for a free 45 minute consultation call!
Dismissive Avoidant
These intellectual, conflict avoidant, practical thinkers care deeply about their space and autonomy…sometimes to a fault. While unlike the previous two attachment styles, DA’s are excellent at boundary setting. However, they often over-inforce these boundaries in order to avoid conflict and feeling vulnerable. DA’s have a habit of shutting down when feeling stressed and tend to disconnect when they feel as if a boundary has been crossed. They are generally slow to warm up in relationships and extremely guarded. Their need for independence can create unique challenges in relationships and a great deal of inner conflict for the DA, because deep down, DA’s truly want to connect with others.
Concepts & Tools
Emotional Processing tool
What are your beliefs about yourself, your value, your actions, and how you’re perceived by others? Together we will explore your beliefs and discover what is actually true and what results your current beliefs are creating in your life.
Uncovering your belliefs
What are your beliefs about yourself, your value, your actions, and how you’re perceived by others? Together we will explore your beliefs and discover what is actually true and what results your current beliefs are creating in your life.
DISCOVERING AWARENESS
A “managed mind” is where your potential lies. It is my mission to help you recognize the power of your own thinking and just how integral acceptance and personal responsibility are along the path to your best self.
INDULGENT EMOTIONS
So often we sabotage ourselves unknowingly by entertaining emotions that don’t serve us. I’ll help you identify & understand indulgent emotions & strategize the creation of useful emotions that encourage the results you are seeking.
EMOTIONAL CHILDHOOD
One of the most disempowering things we can do is assign blame to others for our unhappiness or lack of success in life. I’ll give you the resources that will allow you to step out of “victimhood” and into the brilliance of your truth.
CLIENT PRE-WORK
Before we get started, we’ll establish a point of reference for your thoughts and feelings at present. Carefully read, contemplate and complete the questions supplied on the worksheet found by clicking the “Pre-work” button below.
Trusted Accreditation
Valli Kelly is accredited as a certified Life Coach from The Life Coach School. LCS has set the industry standard for life coaching by training the best coaches in the world and inspiring individuals to care for their own mental health. Coaches who gain accreditation through the LCS program and curriculum are certified to assist individuals in a number of therapies and modalities aimed at sharpening your awareness, increasing emotional intelligence and ultimately putting you back in the driver’s seat of your life. Valli has completed numerous courses over the past two years on top of her LCS certification. Somatic healing, epigenetics, and subconscious reprogramming are among her favorites and have a heavy influence on her coaching style. Most recently she received a second certification in December of 2022 in Integrated Attachment Theory. Valli has used what she gleaned in this most recent certification to put together a comprehensive Attachment Theory based program to educate her clients with hope of improving their relationships and lives significantly. It is her goal to mentor her clients to the point of making her coaching obsolete. “If I’ve done my job sufficiently, you’ll have all the tools you need and be equipped to implement them, no longer needing me.” Valli continuously pursues courses and additional certifications in order to bring her clients the most powerful and transformative concepts coaching has to offer.
Valli Kelly
Coaching
Contact Valli
Dedicated To Helping You Transform Your Thoughts, Motivate Your New Mindset, And Cultivate Your Confidence. Ready to start changing your own life? Reach out to schedule your free consultation.